Middle of April. 5am. Monday morning. It's quiet on the ward. Everyone else is peacefully asleep or at least that's what it feels like. It's too early to get up but it's too late to get back to sleep. I've read yesterday's paper, done all the puzzles and watched all the highlights from the weekend sports. The nurses are busy and I have to stay in my room. Aw crap! It's just me and my thoughts. All alone. Breakfast is 3 and a half hours away and it's 2 hours before I can have a shower. What do you do on a psychiatric ward at 5am on a Monday morning? Make a list obviously.
What have you given up or neglected in the last 7 months to your eating disorder? What has it stolen from you? That was the title to my list! Turned out to be a longer list than I had anticipated. Guts of 40 things actually. And those are just the things I was conscious of. Some things were small, others had greater significance. Bonus points go to you if you read every single one of those 40 odd things. Almost as many bonus points as go to me for writing them :)
1. Falling asleep at night without binging and vomiting
2. Walks on the beach
3. Thinking about the children of Zwide township, Port Elizabeth, South Africa.
5. Playing Hockey
6. Challenging hypocrisy
7. Writing blogs
8. Listening to music
10. Self Improvement
11. Playing Pool
12. Maintaining a good work ethic
15. Working hard at therapy.
18. Climbing mountains
19. Public speaking
20. Visiting family members often
21. Socializing with friends
22. Teaching kids
25. Planning for the future
26. Helping others
27. Saving money
28. Self Respect
29. Being honest about where I'm going when I leave the house.
30. Looking forward to things in the future.
31. Having the energy to exercise when I want to.
32. Brushing my teeth
33. Being able to keep more than one meal a day down
34. Caring about the way I looked
35. Responding to people who contact me