Hell Yeah, it's back. It's back.
Not a false alarm this time.
Not a brief break from the apathy.
It's passion. It's only freaking passion.
And its back.
"Compose yourself you fool"
"Breathe slowly, spell your words correctly and begin sophisticated blog post"
........ Studies have shown that 64% of people suffering from...
Nah can't do it. Just can't.
But how? Didn't you lose that Darren? Didn't the bulimia steal that?
Doing jobs you didn't like.
Fighting a disorder you didn't want.
Hurting people you didn't want to.
You quit volunteering. Stopped playing hockey. Isolated yourself from friends .
You said you would settle for just surviving. Said it was better than crippling depression.
You'd just accepted it hadn't you?
You'd go do a job you didn't like, That didn't truly fulfill you. You'd collect your wages. Promise yourself this month would be different though it never was. Much of that money made from selling food would go into buying food which went into binging food which led to vomiting food which led to shame which led to hunger which led to buying food which led to binging food which led to vomiting food which led to hating yourself which led to believing this was just how it was which felt crap which led to negative emotions which led to buying food for comfort which led to eating food for distraction which led to vomiting food for release which led to hunger which led to...
NEGATIVE EMOTION - REACH FOR COMFORT - BE DISTRACTED - GET RELEASE - FEEL WORSE - DO IT AGAIN - PERPETUATE CYCLE
Yeah you get the picture.
What changed? Because you're feeling better right? You've gained a little weight. You seem a little happier. Here aren't you writing blogs again? Aren't your spamming my news feed with posts about mental health? Did you start some website or something? Don't get me wrong Darren I'm glad you're doing well but you don't half bang that mental health drum. You'd give me depression just reading your stuff.
Ah.... Wait a second. Here I know what it is. It's one of those flash in the pans again Darren. Y'know the kind you get from time to time? One of your flights of fancy? Don't get too excited! We've been here before big lad... You'll screw it up. You'll self - destruct. Just wait.